I woke up feeling a little bit grumpy today. Sometimes it happens, not very often but it does. The whole am I unemployed, taking a holiday from work, applying for jobs, not getting any bites thing can be very up and down. The majority of the time it is pretty good, going to art galleries, having lunch with friends, hooking up with new contacts, ballet, dance, theatre. And then occasionally I get that feeling. If you are currently unemployed and looking for work, you probably know the one I mean – the “what if I don’t get another job” feeling. It comes straight out of the blue and hits me, hard. I start to feel panicky, how long will the money last? What if it takes forever to get work? Am I looking in the right place? What’s wrong with my CV? If I am not careful then the feeling of doom will quickly take hold and I am then spiralling down a dangerous path of “arhhhhhhhhhgggggggggg”. And then, thankfully, the rational, logical and objective voice steps in and says “enough is enough, get a bloody grip and stop being so stupid” (it can be harsh!) and I begin to breathe more easily (yep, even INTJs have bouts of emotional doubt!). So today was one of those days when that feeling returned, albeit briefly.
During this internal conversation with myself I got a call from my mate to sort out the dates of my visit to Yorkshire. I was sat on the balcony having a cup of tea and she was on her lunch break, needing some fresh air, so she called instead of text (nice!). So now I have a visit to Yorkshire to look forward to in June, and we can all go to the Yorkshire Sculpture Park, hooray!!!! I asked her how work was going, and she replied that she is super busy with loads of deadlines. That got me thinking, I am probably ok really. And with that I threw on some clothes and headed to the local park with my ukulele to soak up the sunshine.
And so to some art! I was at the Saatchi gallery yesterday, I didn’t know what was on but there is always something good, weird and brilliant at the Saatchi and it’s free. Two pieces really stood out for me; Gosha Ostretsov’s Criminal Government and Greta Alfaro’s In Uctu Oculi. The first piece was an installation of 5 small cells each with an individual dressed in business attire with weird heads and various forms of mutilation (sounds weird but check out the picture on the website, link below). It was called Criminal Government, corrupt politicians that had been subject to interrogation and torture, the boot on the other foot? It had a strange feeling on me, peering in to the small cells seeing the various forms of mutilation and horror, added to the strangeness was the fact they were wearing suits and ties and all were men. No corrupt female politicians then?
If you want to have a look http://www.saatchi-gallery.co.uk/artists/gosha_ostretsov.htm?section_name=new_art_from_russia
The second piece was a short film. It cut straight to a table laid out for four people with food and wine and champagne in the middle of nowhere. Green hills and mountains in the background. Then slowly you could hear birds swooping around and see the shadows on the ground, vultures. The birds flew closer and closer, more and more of them until they settled on the ground, inspecting the table. One jumped up followed by another and another and another until the table was covered in birds eating away at the meal presented. There must have been over 100 birds, fighting each other for the food, wings out to get poll position. It was so noisy, all the birds squawking, their wings flapping, plates and bottles being knocked to the ground. You could hear the film in the adjacent gallery. Finally, all the food is gone and the birds slowly fly away until there are none left. All you have is a table destroyed by the birds and quiet. If you want to have a look
So what’s happening for the rest of the week; CIPD HRD conference the free bit), haircut, sign up for Tai Chi classes, buy tickets for Chorus Line, The Answer to Everything, Streetwise Opera at BFI, mentoring session, Sidi Larbi Cherkaoui at Sadlers Wells, and the Royal Ballet’s Draftworks at the Linbury.
Life was a bit dodgy to start with today, but now life is good again!